I'm Going To Need To Sit Down After Watching This Episode

Did you all have a conniption last week when  Hank entered the interrogation room and they cut to the freaking credits?

I did.
And I'm having another episode now that TODD is back.

And he is a blabber mouth.
He's like the Perez Hilton of Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Excuse creepy pony tail man as he wipes blood off of his black leather boots.

Excuse me again as I hyperventilate as Hank focuses the camera on Jesse's slack-jawed face.

"Eat me."
The first word we get out of Jesse since 'Nam.

"Happy people just don't go around throwing millions of dollars away."

Here comes Saul, spitting game and making Rocky references that have my father in stitches.

Jesse returns to his mute state.

Walt chooses the moment after he smears concealer under his eyes to tell his son about his cancer relapse in order to keep him from going to see Crazy Aunt Marie and Ticking-Time-Bomb Uncle Hank.

Back at the White Ranch I see two things that make my stomach turn, a camera set up for recording and Skylar in a earth tone track suit.

We know what's coming.

NOW WAIT JUST A GOSH DARN MINUTE. There is NOT about to be a sit-down dinner between these two couples in a Chilis-esque restaurant. This will be a great idea guys, enchiladas, guac, and a heated discussion of my involvement in the meth business. 

ARE YOU ALL WATCHING THIS RIGHT NOW?

ARE WE ALL WATCHING WALT'S CONFESSION PIN THE ENTIRE THING ON HANK.

I'M LAUGHING- NOT OUT LOUD-BUT I AM LAUGHING.

THIS SHOW, MAN

This meeting between the Three Amigos in the desert is all very serious until we get a glimpse of Saul's license plate, "LWYRUP."

It snaps right back to being very serious when Jesse starts crying and then there's a hug.

A hug.

What we're seeing.

What we're all thinking.

Now that we have Jesse speaking again, Skylar takes a note from Roger Daltrey in the rock opera, Tommy.

Saul suggests that Jesse leaves town and heads to Alaska.

Alaska's good.
You already have the scruffy beard for it, man.
By all means find your way onto one of those crabbing boats from Deadliest Catch and make a new life for yourself.

ARE THOSE THE RICIN CIGARETTES?!

IS JESSE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SAUL?!

IS HE REALLY WEARING A NEON YELLOW DRESS SHIRT?!

IS WALT GRABBING A HANDGUN OUT OF THE SODA MACHINE?!

IS JESSE GOING TO TORCH THE WHITE'S HOUSE?!

ARE THOSE MY EYES BUGGING OUT OF MY HEAD?!

I need to sit down.
I'm already sitting down.
Maybe I need to take a Xanax.

Maybe I just need to flip over to MTV to see N*SYNC reunite.