Wednesday, June 13, 2012

So Many Problems

HELLO WORLD (or everyone I know on Twitter and Facebook)! Welcome to the first post of my new blog. I blogged about my european adventures from my semester abroad and now I'm here to blog about anything and everything else that effects me, happens to me, bothers me, or makes me have interesting/irrelevant thoughts or opinions. Essentially, things that are #marnieproblems.

   To kick of this brand new spankin' blog I'll tell you all about my most recent #marnieproblem... knee surgery. Last October I hurt my knee in dance class at school and hobbled around URI like Tiny Tim for few weeks (did not go to the doctor, just took buttloads of ibuprofen) and didn't get it looked at until 2 days before leaving for spring semester in London. The orthopedist told me I had some mucho grande  damage-o to my knee but it wouldn't be bad to go to London anyway as long as I avoided stairs and remained cautious. I got to London... walked up to my dorm building... 6 floor walk up, WITH SUITCASES. Luckily I had no knee pain for the entire semester and I walked EVERYWHERE. Naturally, with my luck, I return to America and mess up my knee again by dancing to One Direction in my kitchen. I mean if I'm going to injure myself dancing to a British boy band... I'm glad it was 1D.

So after what felt like a million doctor's appointments and repeating my medical history at least 14 times I got checked out, scheduled, and sliced open arthroscopic-style to pull the peanut m&m sized chunks of cartilage out my lateral somethings and drill holes somewhere to generate fresh cartilage and ultimately leave me on crutches for 6 weeks. I don't know about anyone else, buy I prefer peanut m&ms to be in my mouth, not camping out in my knee.

I have many fond memories from this surgical experience already... and it's only day 3. When I woke up in the Recovery room I was a tad drugged out and in my happy place. I had a lovely nurse. Her name was Carol. Carol and I bonded, or I thought we did... I was on a morphine drip and sleep deprived. So frankly, I could have been bonding with the ice chip bucket for all I know.

On the way home we stopped a few times to pick up some necessary items for recuperation like magazines and crutch puppies. Marnie, what pray-tell are these crutch puppies you speak of? Well let me inform you kind sir or madam, crutch puppies are like little stuffed animals that wrap around the top parts of crutches so you're underarms don't cry a river of tears. Best part about crutch puppies, they make me look younger. Really- no one will believe I'm almost 21 when I crutch around with two stuffed animals wedged under my arms. Whatever, haters gonna hate.

Now I'm just going to rattle off some pros and cons of having knee surgery:

lots of sleepy time drugs

Said sleepy time drugs must be taken throughout the day, causing me to fall asleep in the middle of every movie/show I attempt to watch...leaving me confused and angry when I fall asleep watching Boy Meets World and wake up to The 700 Club.

From all the day time naps I wake up early enough to watch Boy Meets World reruns.

Day time naps mean no night time long naps.... creating a vicious cycle of half-watched BMW episodes and having to watch John Carter 7 times to get the gist of the whole movie.

Lewis and my Mom are at my beck and call and bring me things that I want and/or need

Lewis does not respond positively to me calling him my "bitch" or "wench". I'm also pretty sure he's going to make me pay when I can do things for myself again.

Major Con:
My mom having to help me shower...

Major Major Con:
Netflix only has 3 seasons of Parks and Rec available to instant watch.

I can't really think of anymore at the moment,  I just took another vicodin and will be passing out in approximately 5 minutes.

Standby for more #marnieproblems- they all won't be about my bum knee I cross my heart and hope to listen to Nickelback forever- WAIT WAIT . I take that back. Cross my heart and hope to make it through this episode of South Park.

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